Silence Does Work

Who feels the pressure in a silence?

The idea

A pause after a question transfers the pressure to speak, and often produces the more useful answer.

In the real world

Three seconds of quiet after a price is stated draws out the real objection.

Going deeper

After a question or a price, the pressure to speak sits with the other person. Filling the pause transfers it back to you, and the most common way to fill it is with a concession.

Stating a price and immediately adding but we have flexibility negotiates against yourself before learning whether there was any objection at all. Three seconds of quiet costs nothing and produces information: their actual reaction, which is what you needed before deciding whether flexibility was required. The discomfort of the pause is felt far more by the person who just spoke than by the one waiting.

Where it stops applying

Silence used as a deliberate pressure tactic is transparent and damages rapport when overdone. The useful version is simply not rushing to fill a natural pause.

Why it matters

It gives you something to do other than filling the gap with a concession.

Try this today

After your next question, count to three before adding anything.

Test yourself

A seller states a price and immediately adds but we have flexibility. What did the silence have been about to produce?

Show the answer

The buyer's actual reaction, which is information. By filling the pause the seller negotiated against themselves before learning whether there was any objection at all, and conceded against an imagined one.

Learn this in the feed Answering from memory, then again days later, is what makes it stick.

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